SBS's Craig Foster Caught Sabotaging Optus Servers

SBS Chief Football Analyst Craig Foster has been caught sabotaging Optus servers to ensure World Cup ratings success for SBS.

The incriminating photo above was obtained exclusively by Double Bay Today.

It was taken by an Optus technician who was trying to fix the telco's streaming problems.

"Fozzie was going hard, literally cutting any wire he could see," says the technician. "He was like a man possessed."

Craig Foster, also known as Fozzie, is yet to offer Optus any kind of apology.

"I accept I shouldn't have been destroying their servers, but if I'm honest there's never been any evidence they worked in the first place. The World Cup is my time to shine. Nobody can take that away from me."

SBS executives say Fozzie absolutely adores the sound of his own voice.

"He can talk bullshit soccer tactics 24/7," says one SBS producer. "He gets frustrated whenever co-host Lucy Zelic tries to say something. Our World Cup coverage is not about soccer, it's all about Fozzie."

(Double Bay Today is a satire news publication)