Premier To Introduce Mobile Drug Testing At Music Festivals Instead Of Pill Testing

Under mounting pressure to introduce pill testing at music festivals, the NSW Premier has announced that mobile drug testing units will be used instead.

"We're not overly concerned with what's in the drugs," says Gladys Berejiklian. "We are more focused on who is taking them. These people do not belong at music festivals."

Under the plan, festival goers will be randomly selected to undergo testing.

Those who test positive will be fined $804 and subjected to an on the spot strip search, before being escorted from the festival.

"This is the best way forward," says the Premier. "People should be able enjoy festivals without having to worry about those on illicit drugs."

The music festival mobile drug testing units will be the same as those currently being used on New South Wales roads.

"It's working on NSW roads, it will work at music festivals too," says the Premier. "Why start testing drugs when we can test festival goers? It's not the drugs which are the problem. It's the people taking them."

The mobile drug testing units will be deployed at selected music festivals this weekend.

(Double Bay Today is a satire news publication.)